What’s it like to be be married to somebody that is constantly coaching basketball? Well let me tell you, it doesn’t include dinners at home or weekends off. What it does include is commitment, a lot of alone time, and victory beers.
I knew early on that one day I would be a coach’s wife by the fact that my husband, then high school boyfriend, was coaching my younger brother. What I didn’t know at the time was what coaching would be like at the higher levels, middle school and high school, and as a married couple.
Being a coach’s wife means you must be flexible and understanding; yes, the 2 hour talk after practice was completely necessary and he’ll eat his dinner warmed up in the microwave. It also means that November through March there will be no available Friday or Saturday nights. Your husband also coaches AAU in the off season? Oh, then there also won’t be a free Saturday or Sunday April through July. Don’t worry – there’s 1 week a year in July that he gets off! The commitment times are true; but if you love it as much as he does, it’s not a dreadful thing. Also, because of the weekend schedules, your diet will consist of a rotation of nachos, pretzels, and popcorn. You might get lucky at venues who also serve cold pizza or soggy chicken sandwiches – enjoy!
Basketball may be time consuming for my husband, which also busies my schedule. However, it is more than worth the time. Watching the players grow not only in the game but through life skills is so great to watch. I was lucky enough to watch my husband coach the same group of players for three years straight and getting to know them as players and individuals is what makes it worth it. I know my husband is impacting the players every single day and I want to be connected to that. His involvement with the team allows me to stand beside him; supporting the players and investing in them myself. I will be the first person to make sure a player has a ride home if I see them sitting outside, and I’m also 100% onboard when the team is able to go to a Pacer’s game together or volunteer at an event.
Lastly, I am a fully committed fan. When it comes to cheering at games, you better believe I’ll be arguing a foul when the game is tied with 6 seconds to go. Someone turns the ball over because of a lazy pass? Yeah, I’ll probably tell them to ‘pick it up’ or ‘show some effort’. My outlook is: if I’m going to spend time at the game, potentially pay money to get in (I typically try and pull the coach’s wife card), I might as well enjoy it and get involved, right?
My top advice to current and future coach’s wives:
- Invest in the team, school, and experience with your husband. It doesn’t have to be something he does alone. Get involved in things outside of practice, attend team outings, and get excited to watch the team play!
- Don’t be offended when no one knows your first name – you WILL be called “Coach _______’s Wife”.
- Use the time he’s at practice to focus on you. Go get a pedicure, read a book, or meet up with friends. Make this a time you take advantage of instead of sitting at home upset that he’s not home. (Now if you have children, I can’t speak to that!)
- Always tell the ticket takers, “I’m one of the coaches’ wives and….” – they will automatically let you walk in for free because well – you’re an awesome coach’s wife!
To sum it up, being labeled a coach’s wife is a label I wear very proudly. I love being a coach’s wife and will always support my husband. Embrace the journey and make it fun!
-Coach A’s Wife